Posted on: 15 February, 2003

Author: Mike Pilinski

========================================="How To Be A Nice Guy And Still Get Laid"-- by Mike Pilinski --(c) 2003 Kipling Kat Publishing Co. -- All Rights Reserved ========================================="How To Be A Nice Guy And Still Get Laid"-- by Mike Pilinski --(c) 2003 Kipling Kat Publishing Co. -- All Rights Reserved suppose I could have titled this article "Why Do Women ShowAbsolutely No Romantic Interest In A Nice Guy (Like Me) EvenThough They All Claim To Want To Meet A Nice Guy (Like Me)?"Whew! Well, maybe not. It sure is tempting though -- becausein my unexpected career as the internet's new "Dear Mr. Abby",I've gotten some basic form of that question many times over inthe past few months, and I'm getting sick of it. So in the interestof suppressing my e-mail a little bit, let me show you my theoryof why it is that nice guys are scorned by women everywhere,and how to get around this social handicap without having to takenight courses in "How to be a Jerk" at your local communitycollege (although I hear they ARE a great place to meet sexyyoung women... ;-)I'm sure you know the infuriating mantra that you've heard timeand again from women --either in person or on all these stupidafternoon talk shows: "...But Oprah, there's no one to date outthere, all the guys are all such jerks and losers. I just want tomeet a nice guy..." Oh how they love to whine.Well if you consider yourself to be the "nice guy" these womenswear they're looking for, but you strike-out with all but the verylowest end of the female food chain anyway, then you know whatroyal bull**** this declaration really is. Nonetheless -- despitethe fact that most of the feral women (18-35) actually date &screw the drunken lowlifes and pricks they claim to hate -- theyseem determined to drill it into our heads that this happensONLY because the right "nice guy" hasn't come-a-stumbln' intotheir life yet. Rrrrr-ight.Ok, here's what's REALLY going on. As usual, women aretalking in code. (They are famous for this).When women imagine "nice guys" in their minds, what they'rereally dreaming about is a guy who makes them feel SAFE... butin a very *special* sort of way that preserves his male sexualattractiveness. Actually, this is not very mysterious when youthink about it from the *female* perspective. To a woman, asafe guy means ONLY that you're physically harmless -- nothingmore. In terms of what you could do to her emotions, well...that's a different story.This blend of hot n' cold, exciting n' boring, safe n' dangerous iswhat she is REALLY searching for -- this is what she *lives* for.It's what she thinks of as having 'chemistry' with a guy.The problem with being overtly nice or lap-doggishly friendly andaccommodating with women is that it communicates the worsekind of SUBLIMINAL message to them. (P.S. EverythingIMPORTANT that goes on between men and women in the earlystages of all romantic-sexual encounters is alwayscommunicated NON-verbally. Words may be the power tools ofseduction -- but it's what you DON'T actually say with words thatwill make or break you!). Anyway, this lousy subliminalmessaging is the key to why nice guys rarely get laid.Here's why:'Nice-guy' behavior is NOT something that women see you as"switching on" in their presence like some well-meaning butfumbled attempt to impress them. Instead, they believe thatyou've been TRAINED (yes, like a f***ing dog) by other, *morepowerful* men in your world to act this way!In other words, 'nice guy' is how subservient men have learnedto act in the presence of stronger men in order to protectthemselves from harm ("I am no threat to your status as themore dominant male... please don't hurt me... let me be yourharmless, lovable side-kick..."). To women, then, "niceness" is ascreaming red flashing signal of LOW MALE STATUS, is an ENORMOUS TURN OFF to them!This is why they can't develop any sexual energy (i.e., chemistry)with nice guys, and with good reason. Nature has hardwired thefemale brain to seek out the most powerful male to mate with inorder to produce the strongest offspring with the best chance tosurvive. It's the same reason why men have been hardwired tochase after women who display physical signs of youthfulness(because youthfulness = reproductive success, or viewed theother way around... old ladies = reproductive failure... i.e., noeggs left in the carton, to put it bluntly). While male and femaleACTIONS may be completely different, their GOALS remain thesame -- strong healthy babies to carry forth the species. Thisis so because "maleness" and "femaleness" are really just twodifferent but complimentary STRATEGIES for reproduction -- andmen and women are compelled to behave differently in order toexecuted these dissimilar strategies on one another.You see, Nature doesn't care about hurting people's feelings -- itcares ONLY about reproductive success in order to keep thoseprecious DNA molecules traveling forward in Time. The danceof mating & seduction -- in all creatures -- is linked inseparably tothis biological imperative. Go against it and you're flying in theface of millions of years of evolution (or maybe its design, whoknows?). Learn to play by it's rules... and you will win! * * *Anyway, being the correct sort of nice guy to women really onlymeans being someone who is A) safe, and B) a guy that shewould NOT be embarrassed to show off to her family or close(judgmental) friends. Understand that there's a lot of latitude inthere between a kiss-ass wimp and a complete psycho. Yourjob is to find that happy middle. * * *Alright, some practical application of theory. It's difficult todescribe exactly how to go about handling the issue of being anice guy, but here's my best try...You never want to ACT like a nice guy around women, always want to SEEM like one.Can you get a sense of what I'm trying to say here? Theproblem with being nice is TRYING to be nice, instead of justLETTING it happen. You can't come across as an *obvious* anice guy -- you just have to drop enough hints around women sothat you SEEM like one. Never, *EVER* broadcast your nice guypotential to women like it's something that you're proud of!Yeeesh!Here's a few examples of what I mean:1) When you first meet a woman that you're attracted to, youmust establish a NON-verbal line of communication in a way thatprovokes stirrings of instinctual mating thoughts in hersubconscious "deep" brain. In other words, you need totransmit your interest in her in a man-woman sexual-potentialway *without* actually speaking any words to that effect! Nicetrick, eh? Actually it's easy... two ways in which you can do thisare with extended eye contact and brief, non-offensive touches.Both casual, but unmistakable in their true meaning to her.2) Drop HINTS about you're capacity to be a nice guy, but don'tdemonstrate it -- otherwise you will come off like a completekiss-ass. Do this by A) slipping in suggestions of having strongfamily-friends relationships in your life (a sign to women thatyou're "connected & normal"), or B) that you have somethingexciting going on in your life -- either at work, as a hobby, orperhaps a recent adventure of some kind.Here's an example from my own experiences. I used to work fora photography company. Sounds exciting, eh? Not really. Theamount of time I spent with a camera in my hand was less than5% of the total time I was there. I mostly did boring lab work andmechanical "McGuiver" tricks to keep a lot of old, over-usedequipment up and running. But maybe a half dozen to 20 timesa year, I got to fly around in light planes shooting aerial picturesaround the Western New York area for various commercialclients.So when I'm chatting up a girl, sometimes I'll work in a quick littleanecdote that's drawn from one of my old flying jobs. Like howthe snowpack collecting on Lake Erie forms such beautifullycolored cracks in the greenish ice sheets during the height ofmid-winter. But I make nothing more of it, all very nonchalant...and I DON'T fully explain how I came into the position of flyingaround the area and making such an observation in the firstplace. Is it through work? A hobby?... What am I involved inthat would give me an opportunity to view this natural wonder?Business travel? What?She's at least a little bit curious about me now, but she's notcomfortable asking questions since I've just rolled over thesubject quickly and she doesn't really know me well enough yet.Besides, (and this is important to understand) she LIKES notknowing! Mystery! Intrigue! I've suggested to her in an off-handway that I'm a productive guy (safe & normal) who's intoSOMETHING that's kind of fascinating and possibly making megood money -- but without revealing too much about what it is,and especially NOT explaining every last detail in the droll,somewhat braggartly way that is the hallmark of the boring-as-hell nice guy.You can drop hints about family ("connections", i.e. I'm not alonely, desperate hermit) or whatever in a similar manner toshow her that you're an okay (nice?) guy without piercing thedelicate bubble of MYSTERY that must envelope everyseduction.Now you're "in like Flynn" in terms of getting your foot in the doorto her heart (this is only Step 1 remember). Why? Becauseshe's made the determination in her *subconscious* mind(where it really counts) that you "seem" like a nice guy beneathan otherwise dominant male presentation of yourself, and thatpiques her interest immensely.You are a rare encounter in the universe of men that breaksdown into either sappy, boring "nice guys" or worthless (but,alas, exciting) pricks. Your stock has gone up at the moment itmatters most... that make or break moment OF FIRSTENCOUNTER. No matter what "flaws" you might otherwiseimagine yourself to have, you have become interesting to her in away that AT LEAST she'll never categorize as friggin' "nice".NOW you have a shot!And you can move on to Seduction Steps 2, 3, 4, etc. with theconfidence of a High Status Male!========================================== Article Tags: Nice Guys Source: Free Articles from