Posted on: 06 November, 2006
Author: Addie Scott
First and foremost, when it comes to having an intimate relationship, one must be comfortable with oneself. If you hate being alone, it usually has something to do with not liking who you are. If ... If you hate being alone, it usually has something to do with not liking who you are. If you don't like/love yourself, how can you expect someone else to? A lover, partner, boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever should compliment you, rather than complete you. If your only goal in life seems to be to find a significant other, because you don't feel whole, than it is more than likely that you will use that person as an escape from you and your reality. Work on getting to know yourself and the traits that you find you are proud of. Make a list, if you have to...a list of all the things you think are wonderful about yourself. Those are the traits that others will be drawn to. Look at yourself in the mirror on a regular basis and see yourself without any barriers...the you that you should be letting others see, not the one you try to portray. Do your homework i.e. ask your friends (your real friends) and your family to honestly tell you (no holds barred) what they find so endearing about you. Compare their answers to your own and see if they match. If they don't, take a close look at what they see. Decide what you love about yourself; take those traits and play them up. If you are a woman and have mesmerizing, sexy eyes, make them pop. Remember when batting your eyelashes was synonymous with flirting? Experiment with make-up and make those eyes shine! Don't overdo it...just help them out a bit. Most men don't go for the whole "made-up" look, but a small amount in the right colors, strategically placed, will give your eyes that "come hither" look. Your eyes play a huge role in flirting. If you use face make-up, use as little as possible, while still covering up any problem areas you might have. When it comes to blush, just a tad, to give you a natural sun-kissed glow. Don't end up with clown cheeks...not attractive. Lipstick and gloss should be close to your natural lip color and not match your fire engine red shoes. One's mouth is a flirting mecca. Remember, if the relationship becomes serious, that new man in you life is going to see you sans make-up, and you don't want it to be a shocker when your face is naked. I remember I once had this boyfriend that I wanted to look great for all the time. When the relationship advanced to the point where he was spending the night with me, I used to slip quietly out of bed, very early in the morning and apply a little bit of make-up (I hadn't taken it off from the night before), and run a little water through my hair (mine is naturally curly and there is no waking up with day ready hair) and climb back into bed. I don't know how I kidded myself into thinking he believed I woke up every morning looking so damn good. Maybe I thought he was that stupid. Okay, so maybe he was. If you're a man with gorgeous blue eyes, wear a shirt that will make them bluer. Don't be afraid of something new. Find out what colors complement your complexion and wear them. If you like that you are straight forward with people and opinionated, realize that it takes a certain kind of person to be able to have a relationship with someone like that. My first husband loved that about me when we first got together, and then years later he changed his mind. He wanted me to change, because my personality suddenly made him unhappy. I took stock of myself and decided that my strength and honesty were things I really liked about myself, and I wasn't willing to change to placate him. The marriage didn't survive. He wanted me to "put a muzzle on it", which I wasn't willing to do. Be strong. Be Confident. Don't kowtow to someone else. Live your life in a way that makes you feel comfortable and proud. On the other hand, if there are things about you that YOU feel need work on; that perhaps you aren't so proud of, work on them...hone them...fine tune them. If you find, in retrospect, that you are a half empty kind of guy/gal, consciously try to become the half full type. It may take a bit of work, but you can do it. This one takes a little effort, especially if you've been a pessimist most of your life. Start with trying to find something good in every situation, especially those that make you unhappy. You will find that if you can see the light at the end of the tunnel, instead of the proverbial black cloud hanging over your head, you will slowly become more of an optimist. And once that happens, you will also find that your life becomes more pleasant, more of the time. The fact is that others can see that black cloud as well. Let them see you shine instead! Soon you may find that it's easier to "roll with the punches", "go with the flow", let things "roll off your back" like a duck does water and consequently that load on your shoulders will become lighter. You will feel better and it will rub off on others. You'll also have a lot more fun flirting!So, take stock of yourself...get to know the you that you want others to know...become comfortable with that person, learn to love that person, and get out there and knock 'em dead!Happy Dating! Happy Flirting! Source: Free Articles from ArticlesFactory.com